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 marrige

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Irit
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PostSubject: marrige   Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:51 pm

Now a days it is a fashion that Harari women living abroad have taken the courage to select their Mr. right from Harar consequently , women in the Harar are suffering due to a shortages male partners with in the region , My point is why you guys do not marry each other and leave us alone ?
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ok
Guest



PostSubject: rush   Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:55 am

i advice better you rush and get one before our arrival:P bounce
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amshash



Number of posts : 8
Registration date : 2006-11-20

PostSubject: Re: marrige   Sun Mar 11, 2007 3:04 pm

Certainly, I undrestand and feel your concern. Marriage seems a major issue among Harari society. The best place to address your concern is through Hararian email groups. As you have seen already, not many people reading www.2007harar.com forum. Please address your concern by posting to the following email groups:

hararlst@yahoogroups.com
harari-list@interchange.ubc.ca
harar1st@yahoogroups.com
HararianForum@yahoogroups.com.au

In the mean time don’t get discouraged. Keep looking for your right soul mate. The sooner the better. Start moving your eye around and boost your trapping energy as soon as possible.

Shash, A.M
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Harari W
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PostSubject: Marriage   Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:11 pm

Dear Irit,



So sorry to read about your concern…I can’t say I sympathize with you though. When was it off limits for the Harari women to come there and choose their husbands? I did not hear Harari women who live abroad complain about Harari men coming there and bringing back Harari women as their wives. Why weren’t you concerned when this happened? Don’t you think that women who live abroad feel the pain as well? I guess it hit home huh? I am so happy that we women FINALLY have the opportunity to come there and choose our soul mates and bring them here to start a life together. I am sure you wouldn’t have written this if you were the chosen one to leave Harar if opportunity has presented itself J

So dear Irit, please don’t hate the player hate the game…times have changed and please expect more and more women who live abroad coming there and marrying Harari men one by one. Women are finally the ones choosing instead of waiting to be chosen – I LOVE THAT.



Good Luck
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irit
Guest



PostSubject: very dangerous   Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:22 am

if you wanted to know about me i refused many offering engagement to live in abroad and it is not a big deal , ok if you decided to take your soul mate in HARAR why dont you also return some of men who are fade up to live abroad and marry in Harar i think this will bring fair exchange among ourselves
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Harari W
Guest



PostSubject: Marriage   Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:58 pm

Dear Irit –



Glad to hear that you “refused many engagement offerings” and “you think it is no big deal to live abroad” more power to you and I wish you the best in finding your soul mate there in Harar (assuming that your destiny is from there) Smile



Having said that let me say something about your response…You want me to send back the men here that are fed up? You are too funny (reading your response really made my day Smile ). How am I responsible for men who are fed up living abroad? We are talking about grown men, with their own minds and abilities, don’t you think they can make their own decisions and leave if they are not happy here?



Poor, poor Irit, if you think returning these men to Harar is a fair trade then maybe I can help you out. I don’t know any Harari man that is fed up living here, but if there are any men that are fed up I ask the Harari men and women who live abroad to help you out. Ask these brothers if they are fed up and if their responses are “yes” then maybe we can all pitch in and arrange something for them so that they can be on their merry way.



ALL HARARI MEN WHO LIVE HERE AND ARE FED UP PLEASE SAY SOMETHING (ATLEAST IRIT THINKS YOU GUYS ARE NOT HAPPY HERE). IF YOU ARE FED UP PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT SO THAT MISS IRIT CAN FIND HER SOUL MATE ONCE YOU RETURN THERE SINCE SHE THINKS WE WOMEN WHO LIVE ABROAD ARE TRYING TO TAKE ALL THE MEN FROM HARAR.



Can some one please post this message to the wider audience (maybe hararlst@yahoogroups.com) so that men who are fed up can read this and start packing.



All jokes aside, I have one word of advice for you Irit. If you really believe that there is some shortage of Harari men in Harar, then maybe it is a sign for you to start looking outside of the Harari race. Does your soul mate have to be a Harari man? As long as he is Muslim and you share the same beliefs why not expand your search and see what happens. At least that is what some really smart Harari women I know are doing. Believe me you will be surprised on what you might uncover.



Also I want to say thank you for identifying the problem and for being honest about it. I think we need more women like you to speak up on issues that are affecting our lives. Let Irit be the first example to all the Harari women who are afraid to voice their opinions. Keep it up Smile





Peace
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irit
Guest



PostSubject: please help me   Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:05 am

I am shy to post it in hararlst will you please post it on my behalves
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Amir-Nur
Guest



PostSubject: Re: marrige   Tue Apr 17, 2007 1:56 pm

Dear Irit and Harari W,

I found that Irit's has a good and legitimate concern regarding Harari males selected by Ladies living abroad. My fear is the Harari lads living abroad have already internalised the wastern culture so it is too difficult to the poor Harari guy to go together, speak, think, eat, work, dance and play with such "Westernised ladies" who have lost all the cultural values and norms of Harari society,only remain with Harari name and speak the language very ralely.

Irit, if you are proud of your culture and religion, just think of getting one Harari from there. Those who have married the so called " Harari Ladies" from abroad has suffered enough. sooner or letter you will find it.
Let us discuss
ANwa
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Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Marriage   Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:46 pm

They just need to catch up and get with the program. Once they are here it is too difficult for us women to baby sit these brothers who are sooooooooo slow in catching up. Irit, I agree with Amir, maybe you need to look at the guys here incase they fit what you are looking for - Good Luck!
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fact
Guest



PostSubject: reality   Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:19 am

Everybody knows Harari guys are very fast and can easily adapt to any environment, but the problem is Harari ladies in abroad are focusing with slow personality for the following reasons.
1.Most active Harari guys do not prefer to go abroad as they have many more option in the country or if they preferred to go they can easily make it no need to use marrige as a bridge
2.If the ladies able to secure active Harari guy in Harar, she may not have guarantee that he will soon be snatched away by other active Harari birds.
3.Some ladies in abroad prefer slow guys as he needs times of adjustment to know how to exert his power to come out of her control and influence.
4.I don’t want to tell the forth point as it really hurts those who already have taken or tried to find their soul mate from Ethiopia.
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Amir Nur
Guest



PostSubject: Hi   Thu Apr 19, 2007 1:12 pm

Dear all,

I do have a sympathy for those ladies who don't have a chance of gating the right Harari guy abroad and want to marry from home. Let me add one more advice to such ladies. They better tale the guy what they are expecting from him, otherwise due to the ciltural gap they will disagree in the short period of time after reaching there and starting the life in the highly developed countries.

Bye
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we rathe
Guest



PostSubject: Re: marrige   Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:16 am

I know many guys who made a choice for marriage in Ethiopia both male and female but the still rate of divorce is very low on the other side we can see who made their choice in abroad ended with divorce, then how do you justify cultural incompatibility?
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think
Guest



PostSubject: For those of u thinking of marriage...here's something more!   Mon May 14, 2007 4:30 am

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms. Right!



If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married they'll say: "We're in love." I believe is the #1 mistake people make when they date.
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.
When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.
Here are five questions you must ask ourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.



QUESTION #1
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions: Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing." So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?
Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiter, bus boy, taxi driver, etc.? How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect?
If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you-who can't do nearly as much for them!

QUESTION #5
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage...for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.



In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
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